I have failed my hero. Failed him, like that Creative Writing class I signed up for in high school because I needed an easy course to fill out my schedule. It’s my fault, really. I mean it couldn’t be anyone else’s. As much as I would like it to be. As much as I once thought it was.
It’s hard to be a writer. Actually, that’s a total lie; it’s easy to be a writer. It’s hard to be a good writer. Harder to be a published writer. I imagine several years ago it was hard to be a writer, what with typewriters and white out and no Ctrl+Z to wipe out the last 20 minutes of what-the-hell-was-I-just-writing. I dreamed of being a writer, and I went through the steps. I wrote several columns, all with neat little query letters and inventive titles. I tried pretty much every path: sending query letters, sending letters of interest, sending unsolicited manuscripts via email, via snail mail. I shot off all this stuff to every major and most not-so-major magazine within my subject. I tried self syndicating a column, which was a terrible idea given that economic viability of most newspapers is on par with a Saudi Arabian X-Rated Video Emporium and Liquor Shack.
With no air conditioning.
Also, it’s on fire.
And all the employees have been laid off beca… you know I think maybe you get the point. Also I wrote a book. A whole book; 58,273 words. Or something close to that, I didn’t actually open the file to check, but the point is I tried. I sent a letter to my favorite columnist, my hero, and asked him his opinion on how I could get to do what he does. Amazingly, he wrote back. He said “You just have to try harder than the other guy.”
But, it’s not worth it. It’s just a waste of my time at this point. Maybe if I had put all my eggs in the writing basket I would have been successful, but I didn’t. I got a degree in engineering, which is way the hell more lucrative than even most moderately successful writers. So I failed my hero and focused my time on my engineering job. And I drive a brand new BMW.
It’s not so bad.
And so I leave you, as a non writer with an upper middle class lifestyle. I say goodbye and have fun writing, suckers!
And I’m never coming back! I’m resisting the urge to write about anything and everything. This blog will live on as a reminder of my failures and I will leave it here for everyone to see. You know, actually this whole ordeal of mine would make a really good story. I should compile this all into a book and start pitching to…
Damnit!
Posts
You don't have to write to be published. It took Jane Austen fourteen years to publish Pride and Prejudice! Tells you how much publishers spot talent!
ReplyDeleteyou write because you love to. Write for urself and the rest is simply cherries on the cake!
As a writer I understand how frusterating it is when you are waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting for some "big break" or your chance to be known as "the auhtor who wrote____!" I get that, I understand how annoying it is when something doesnt turn out the way you hoped, how you feel the something so small you did erased all hope that you could ever become "bigger and better" I get that, who wouldnt? But, what I encourage you to do, although I am sure many have told you to do this, is dont give up. You have potentiol, I can tell just from reading your blog, and I dont think some stupid, crappy incident that you didnt get published on the first go should stop you. I am not a professional, I dont have connections, I am only a pathetic 13 yearold who dreams of becoming an author someday, but I know for a fact that the "normal people, the non-famous people" like us dont get anything easy. So, understand one thing. Stop being a wimp, and actually keep trying to get what you want. Nothing is stopping you except yourself. And, if I can write a 60,247 word novel, then you can write one and actually make something out of it. Stope telling yourslef "never going to happen" because one day you might find yourslef saying "I wish I would've listened to that girl who told me to keep on going."
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