I have failed my hero. Failed him, like that Creative Writing class I signed up for in high school because I needed an easy course to fill out my schedule. It’s my fault, really. I mean it couldn’t be anyone else’s. As much as I would like it to be. As much as I once thought it was.
It’s hard to be a writer. Actually, that’s a total lie; it’s easy to be a writer. It’s hard to be a good writer. Harder to be a published writer. I imagine several years ago it was hard to be a writer, what with typewriters and white out and no Ctrl+Z to wipe out the last 20 minutes of what-the-hell-was-I-just-writing. I dreamed of being a writer, and I went through the steps. I wrote several columns, all with neat little query letters and inventive titles. I tried pretty much every path: sending query letters, sending letters of interest, sending unsolicited manuscripts via email, via snail mail. I shot off all this stuff to every major and most not-so-major magazine within my subject. I tried self syndicating a column, which was a terrible idea given that economic viability of most newspapers is on par with a Saudi Arabian X-Rated Video Emporium and Liquor Shack.
With no air conditioning.
Also, it’s on fire.
And all the employees have been laid off beca… you know I think maybe you get the point. Also I wrote a book. A whole book; 58,273 words. Or something close to that, I didn’t actually open the file to check, but the point is I tried. I sent a letter to my favorite columnist, my hero, and asked him his opinion on how I could get to do what he does. Amazingly, he wrote back. He said “You just have to try harder than the other guy.”
But, it’s not worth it. It’s just a waste of my time at this point. Maybe if I had put all my eggs in the writing basket I would have been successful, but I didn’t. I got a degree in engineering, which is way the hell more lucrative than even most moderately successful writers. So I failed my hero and focused my time on my engineering job. And I drive a brand new BMW.
It’s not so bad.
And so I leave you, as a non writer with an upper middle class lifestyle. I say goodbye and have fun writing, suckers!
And I’m never coming back! I’m resisting the urge to write about anything and everything. This blog will live on as a reminder of my failures and I will leave it here for everyone to see. You know, actually this whole ordeal of mine would make a really good story. I should compile this all into a book and start pitching to…
Damnit!
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