Words of Encouragement

Aspiring Author: Can you discuss the process of getting a book published, once it’s completed?

Successful Author: Sure, have you ever, just, slammed your head into your desk, just as hard as you can? I mean just slammed it down? And then just slammed it down again, and then again, and you just keep on slamming your head into the desk and you get a whelp on your forehead the size of a golf ball, and you just keep slamming and slamming. Over and over until you can’t feel your face, you can’t even feel the top half of your body but you just keep slamming your head into the desk. Your vision starts to blur and tunnel and you start to get lightheaded. It isn’t until your eyes start to sting that you realize you’re bleeding profusely from your forehead. You’ve probably already suffered irreparable brain damage, but you keep going, slamming your head over and over. And finally, just before your vision fades off into complete darkness and your brain slips into a coma, someone hands you a check for eight hundred dollars.

Aspiring Author: So… do I need an agent?