10000 No's

A journey of a thousand No’s begins with a single No.

I've done the research.  I knew I would get rejected.  I knew I would have to read a dozen or so form rejection letters from agents who are looking for something more... marketable.

I actually prepared myself for it rather well.  When I got my first rejection letter, I posted it up on the wall above my desk, like an A+ on the fridge.  I put it up at the far left corner of the wall, with room for plenty more.  I was using the old measure-success-by-failure method; the "You know, Edison failed 10,000 times before he invented the light bulb" approach.

Still, six rejection letters later, the top left of my wall starting to get filled, and I’m getting frustrated.  I don't even look at the first two sentences of the form rejection anymore; I just skip to "Unfortunately..."  In fact, if that's all the letter said, I would appreciate the conservative use of ink.

I'm not looking for polite and thoughtful rejection anymore; I know these people are swamped with submissions.  If they realize, after looking at the first three sentences that it's not for them, well god bless them for reading three sentences.  I got a rejection reply 25 minutes after I emailed in a query + 5 pages and I was so happy that I didn't have to wait three weeks for a rejection just to skip the first two sentences.

Thank you Nathan Bransford, you’re my new favorite No.

I sent a travel column in to the LA Times two months ago, didn't hear back for two weeks, and assumed they weren't interested.  Yesterday I get an email saying "Unfortunately..."  Two months!  It's a daily newspaper!  Let me know if you don't want it, I'd like to shop the column around before global warming melts the ski resort.

25 minutes would be ideal, but I’d take one week.  I think four days is reasonable.  If it’s four weeks, that’s fine too, but please list that on your website so I can skip your agency.

I want a Yes, but if the answer is a No, I'd like to know now.  Don't you know?

At least it will help fill out my wall.  Another No on my slow path to ten thousand no’s.